Just In Case You Missed It

Some Pig!

One of the stranger news stories ever printed was featured in Saturday’s Macon Telegraph Boy, 11, bags hog bigger than ‘Hogzilla’ . 11 year old Jamison Stone, pictured with this mutated bovine, apparently shot the thing with a pistol. Let’s revisit that . . . shot it several times with a pistol. Nine times with a 50 caliber revolver, to be exact. Young Jamison has been hunting since he was five.

Please don’t misunderstand. Poor Richard is not one of those animal rights folks who get totally torqued when they see a chicken house and even feed their pet Doberman a vegetarian dog food. But, one does have to question the sanity of allowing an eleven year old to charge through the woods firing a pistol at Grendel.

According to the Telegraph/AP article, Jamison’s “father said that, just to be extra safe, he and the guides had high-powered rifles aimed and ready to fire in case the beast, with 5-inch tusks, decided to charge.” Somehow this just doesn’t seem satisfactory. If Grendel actually had decided to devour the lad, would a few high powered rifles actually have stopped him in time?

I submit that if God had truly wanted men to hunt and eat something like this monster, He wouldn’t have invented cows, chickens and domesticated pigs.

As for Jamison, his next expedition is planned for Scotland in the late Summer. He’s going fishing for Nessie . . . with a #8 Aberdeen hook.

Photo by Melynne Stone, AP story by Kate Brumback, lifted without specific permission from Macon.com. I’ll put the photo back if you tell me to.

Fabio Can Play Cello

Lest any of my occasional readers become upset, let me first say that the Macon Symphony gave another stellar performance this evening. Beautiful wife and I have thoroughly enjoyed the concerts this season as have the occasional selection of daughters, boyfriends and son that have attended with us.

That said, I am remotely suspicious that there was a not so hidden agenda in the selection of this evening’s guest artist. The featured piece was Dvorak’s Concerto in B Minor for Cello. I like Dvorak . . . for all of the wrong reasons. I’ve always thought that the New World Symphony would have made a great soundtrack for a pirate movie. Picture the sea washing over the deck of the ship and Errol Flynn at the helm with a glint in his eye and the wind in his long hair.

I guess Errol Flynn was on my mind when the cellist walked on stage. His name is Zuell Bailey and if you’re too young for Captain Blood, remember Johnny Depp as the pirate in Chocolat, but with darker hair. Here’s a photo that I lifted from the MSO website. Add a little beard and moustache and make the hair longer for the current image. Imagine D’Artagnan with a bow instead of a sword.

To make things even better, the first movement of the Concerto would have made a great swashbuckler theme. As Bailey began to play (and he can really play), the image changed a little. It dawned on me that I was watching Fabio; but instead of posing with the beautiful woman for the front of a gothic romance novel, Fabio had a cello.

I think that the women in the audience were very impressed. Our commentator from Kentucky (see Now I know where she came from) was sadly missing, but her unadulterated take on Fabio was easy to imagine. A master of understatement, Beautiful Wife commented simply, “I enjoyed the piece . . . and he was nice to look at.” I resisted the quip about sex and violins, but promised to take her again to ladies night at the Symphony next year.